why am i still breathing?

tonight i got a txt from a friend, this friend isnt as close to me, we dont talk daily but she makes those "remarkable moments feel as she been there forever". she send me a text saying:

"im glad your still here with me, love you fea".

when i read this i smiled,and felt blessed. why blessed? because after my accident i thought i would never get this kind of love from anybody. theres times were i feel like i just want to be "invisible" like i let a lot of people down. although its been 2mos since my accident, i still cant believe this happened to me. i use to think things like this just happen to people that are ... i dnt even know the word to express what i thought. now i know that even the worst things can happen to those that are "good". i was a full time student & full time worker, with manners, respectful, honest, fun, outgoing, drugfree, & focused; its hard to believe that is truth, that this nightmare i went through is real! i ask myself:

"why am i still breathing?" why does god trust me so much? why did i get one of the hardest position in this scene?

like a great friend told me :

"maybe god knows that your the strongest one from us!, cuz honestly daisy i dont think i would be able to deal with it..."

but being "strong" is so hard!!!!! i wish every person that point & critize me, would put themselve in my position and see that it was never my intention to hurt anyone that its so hard to live with this pain. if god allowed me to go trough this.., i know he would help me, he cant leave me now...now that i need him most! people tell me that they "look up to me" because im "strong", little do they know i cry inside, and that im being "strong" because have no other option.when you go through moments of hardship is when you know how strong you are! like i say :

"strenght is like energy, if you dnt constantly ask for it,...you run out of it. & the best provider for this energy is god!"

god:

give me the strength that i need to go through this pain, guide me through the path that leads me to you & my angels, give me with the wisdom i need to make the "right" choices. fill me with your peave & love to share with those around me. forgive me for the mistakes ive done, and the "bad" thoughts that have came in mind. help me, i need you more than ever!